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Is this safe load securement?

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Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


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A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."


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Hunting, Sort of


Shelia walked into the kitchen to find her husband, Fred, stalking around
with a fly swatter. "And what are we doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies" he responded.

"Oh? Killing any?" she asked, with a smirk.

"Yep! Got 4 males, 3 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How the heck can you tell?"

"Simple." He replied, "4 were on a beer can, 3 were on the phone."
 

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You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the South. Some of
you will enjoy this more than others.. Southerners can be so polite!


Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land eastbound
on runway 9R

Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's
runway 9R - Allah be Praised."

Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on
runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's
runway 9R. - Allah is Great."

Pause...

Saudi Air: " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"

Atlanta ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 511."

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING
IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE.. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."

Atlanta ATC: "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all be careful
now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "
 
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