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Peter had been in Police work for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys fifty acres of land in Alaska as far away from humanity as possible...
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month... Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door... He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00..."
"Great", says Peter, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you...!"

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking."
"Not a problem," says Peter. "After twenty five years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting too."
"Well, I get along with people. I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex too."
"Now that's really not a problem!" says Peter, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there.

By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
 

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In the back woods of Kentucky, a red neck' s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here you hold this high so I can see what I am doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered another baby girl. "No, no don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The red neck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"
 

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